hate that I feel like this I’m a bitch

I have a fear of people thinking I’m fat like I always where Bon baggy clothes wrong friends so I don’t look fat how pathetic is that I wouldn’t wear something bigger. Than my size because I wouldn’t want people to think the bigger size is what ACTURALLY fits me I compare myself to others I hate it because I still love food I want to shove my face with food in still the old me inside and that old me will always be there which is why sometimes I do shove my face but then have a large amount of guilt after which the old me never used to get.

Maybe I don’t have a problem, maybe I’m just vain and self obsessed 😭😭